Bluetooth Audio big battery drain-how to STOP iPod function of iPhone

It doesnt take much to drain the battery on my 3GS - WiFi, location services, Bluetooth and iPod are all culprits. But nothing drains the battery quite like a Bluetooth audio connection with my Fords Sync system, playing music via the iPod functionality of my 3GS. Its almost comical, I can get it down from 100% to 20-30% in a matter of a few hours, if even that long. But I know that this happens, and that there is no easy fix, so I just deal with it.
The PROBLEM is, whenever I either a.) step into my car with Bluetooth enabled, or b.) connect my iPhone 3GS to my Fords USB port via the standard iPhone cable (i.e. to charge, or to use Sync without Bluetooth), the default is for the iPhone’s iPod to just start playing, without any prompting from me. I of course will forget to look at the phone, then notice that it is playing with the tell tale arrow up top on the welcome screen, even if my sound system is completely off, then I have to go into iPod and “pause”. Which is fine, until the NEXT time get into the car, or hook the iPhone up, then the same thing happens again. In the case of audio over Bluetooth vs. iPhone cable, the result is dramatic battery drain.
Wouldn’t it be nice if I could actually CHOOSE when the iPhone’s iPod actually decides to PLAY and wear down my battery unnecessarily, versus the iPhone making that decision for me?
Any thoughts here? I see a lot of older posts relative to “stopping” the iPhone’s iPod but nothing specific to my issues. This is my second, separate posting on the subject here, I’m going to post to Ford.com too, see if they have any configuration recommendations and the like. Thanks in advance.
HP Desktop Windows 7 iPhone 3GS, iPod Touch 3G